I’m Grateful for Knowing These 3 Common ‘Toxics’, even as the Youngest
When I was 7 years old, someone told me this,
“All you knew was to keep breathing.”
Some people assume that being the youngest means they’re less experienced or capable. Ironically, they might actually possess a level of maturity that surpasses that of the oldest.
Honestly, being the youngest in my family is a unique experience — it’s neither better nor worse, just its own kind of adventure.
As the youngest and the 'last,' I find it interesting to observe the settings I have. There’s something special about being the final piece in the puzzle.
Why? Based on my observations and experiences from the people I knew, I’ve learned to distinguish what works from what doesn’t.
I’d call them toxic. What all ‘these’ ideas have in common is that they don’t just fail — they make everything else worse. And the irony? People know how harmful they are. Yet, despite this awareness, they’ve trapped themselves in a toxic cycle, willingly stepping into the very quicksand they recognize.
These mistakes I saw became valuable lessons, triggering my mindset and reshaping my perspective. Here are the three common toxic things I’m grateful to have known, even as a ‘youngest.’
1. Not being stable before doing anything else
Here’s the thing.
The cycle is:
Schooling > Graduate > Get a Job > Get Married > Build a Family
While it may sound dull, it’s a sad reality that many face: a common cycle where individuals, without planning for their future, struggle to manage their own families and advance their careers. This lack of foresight can trap them in a repetitive pattern, hindering personal growth and development.
Let’s make a slight shift, but somewhat connected:
In our country, early pregnancy is a big problem. Some young people find themselves caught up in it, while others may even choose it out of curiosity. But once they go down that path, they face a reality they never expected — carrying a baby for nine months and dealing with the challenges that come with being a young parent.
It’s a heavy burden, with endless expenses and hard work. But the hardest part? Their family has nothing to spend and make some plan for their future. It’s common, getting caught in a never-ending loop of problems in different areas of their lives like financial, work, and personal issues.
If they’re unaware of their actions, what begins as ‘comfort’ can quickly turn into a curse.
Break the curse and change the cycle:
Schooling -> Graduate -> Get a Job -> Learn a Skill, Set More Dreams and Build a Business (having a family should be planned for when everything is stable)
To make this happen, learn how to be the ruler of your own life. Establish your own rules and stay clear of temptations that won’t help you reach your goals.
2. You are 100% responsible to what and who you are
It’s unfair to create a problem through your own mistakes and then involve others in the mess unless they want to be involved.
You made the mistake, but you let others deal with it even though they didn’t do a single thing.
It’s like a student failing a test and then insisting that their entire study group retake the test because they didn’t prepare well. Or, expecting everyone in the room to help pay for vase replacement even someone accidentally breaking it.
This idea is also common in the workplace. The company’s performance is on a declining trajectory in terms of sales, and their ‘shitty’ boss blames the problem on the workers.
Instead of blaming, why not track the root cause and create a strategic plan to solve the issue? Instead of blaming, help your workers address and remove what is wrong. Rather than engaging in wasteful actions, study the entire situation and deal with it effectively.
Take valid actions and remember that you are 100% responsible for them because there is only one person who has done such things, and that is YOU.
3. Age isn’t the issue
“I’m too old to do this” or “He’s too young to attain them.” These are the typical excuses people throw around when a deal falls through or when someone surprises by hitting a million in a very young age.
Like for example:
Most people stick with their current jobs, working eight hours a day, often appearing disengaged. Imagine sitting next to one of them and asking, “Are you truly satisfied with what you’re doing right now?”
Perhaps their response is: ‘Not really; it’s just the only option I have.’ Or maybe, ‘I’m at this stage in life, and despite my desires for greater satisfaction, I choose to remain as I am.’
They understand the value and significance of ‘something new’ or ‘something different,’ yet they struggle to piece together the puzzle that resides in their minds.
It’s because they believe that if you’re too young, you’re capable of doing very little, and if you’re too old, you’re equally limited in what you can do.
It’s a sad reality that few people know dreaming is limitless and that it doesn’t require the right age to make it happen. But make sure that you are not just dreaming; create a system to achieve your goals.
Setting a new goal, even if you think you’re “too old,” doesn’t mean you’re too late to achieve it. What truly matters is reaching that goal and making yourself proud in the end.
Conclusion…
People keep sticking to the same old habits and these thinking, even though they know it’s not working. It’s like they’re trapped in a never-ending cycle, repeating the same actions and getting the same disappointing results. It’s frustrating and they know it, but they just can’t seem to break free.
